5 Ways To Keep Long Distance Relationships Thriving
Time apart from your significant other is not the most horrible thing in the world, but there will be times you wish that were never an option. As a military spouse this is almost like clockwork, something that is expected, something that can’t be controlled and you never know how long.
The longest time my husband and I were ever apart was 2 weeks in the entire duration of our relationship. When we were dating, I went on a trip with my best friend to Spain for 2 weeks and right after we got married, we went on separate trips to visit our families and friends to say our goodbyes before leaving the country.
Unfortunately, mistakes were made during our recent move and needed fixing. I had to come back Stateside and we don’t know how long.
It’s been almost a month and I’m afraid I might just miss his birthday, too. Being far away has sucked more than anything, but there are also ways to make it suck less if you’re willing to put in the effort which I hope you do.
It took a little bit of adjustment being far away from each other, but after a couple of weeks, we’ve got it down. But, here’s to hoping and longing for my husband. I can’t wait to be back in his arms.
While there are a lot of people out there who have lived this lifestyle longer than we have, I still want to share with you how my husband and I are making things work. I and on behalf of my husband, hope that this could help you out, too.
1) UPDATE EACH OTHER OFTEN
In my last blog post, I shared 6 things I learned in my first 6 months of marriage. One of those 6 things is transparency.
When you and your spouse are apart, it is important to establish transparency, great communication skills, and trust.
During our time apart, my husband and I voluntarily share how our day went with each other. While there is nothing wrong with asking your spouse how their day was, in fact, I encourage it, there’s just something about making your spouse not feel interrogated about a topic like how their day was.
However, I would like to stress to not overdo updates. While it’s important to update and share with each other how your day went, there should be enough trust between the two of you to not have to do this every minute of every day. This way, you’re not sitting on your phone, waiting for your spouse to get back to you. It will drive you nuts, trust me.
2) VIDEO CHAT
Ahhh, technology. Technology is some of the world’s best inventions. We are lucky to be living in this day and age where Facebook Messenger, Duo, Skype, Facetime and other video calling applications are accessible at our fingertips. Just imagine how difficult it would have been before this type of technology, radiographs, snail mail and if you’re a big Harry Potter fan, I guess you’re going to just have to wait for your owl to deliver it.
Technology is great but sometimes we overlook other logistics when setting up video calls with our spouses. For example, my husband and I worked it out by telling each other “I’ll video chat with you today”. While that is exciting, it’s not that realistic. We are 8 hours apart from each other timewise and time difference that is as extreme need specifics.
Always set a time window and give your spouses enough respect by checking in beforehand to make sure that they are unoccupied and ready to take your call.
3) DO A BIBLE STUDY PLAN TOGETHER
If you’ve been on this blog for awhile now, you know that we, my husband and I are both believers. If you’re not, there’s nothing wrong with that and there may be other ways to substitute this recommendation.
On our wedding day, we wrote our own vows. Both had similar promises to always direct each other to the Lord. Throughout our marriage, we’ve fallen short many times, but if there was someone else accountable for us beside ourselves, it would be each other.
Obviously, when you’re apart, you are unable to go to church together. Sometimes, you don’t have the time to talk about your faith with each other. So while we’re apart, my husband and I started a Bible study together that would work perfectly with our schedules. I can’t recommend the YouVersion Bible app enough. YouVersion has allowed my husband and I to do a bible study on a topic about marriage and the amount of growth we’ve had while we’re apart is incredible. You’d be surprised what your spouse has in their hearts when they comment on each study.
4) ORDER SOMETHING ONLINE & HAVE IT DELIVERED TO THEM
It’s Prime Day and I forgot to make a post on our best Amazon finds, but that’s not going to stop me from mentioning it.
Amazon is your friend. Luckily, I know my husband is big on gift giving and/or receiving gifts.
One way to make your spouse feel special while you are miles apart is by spending money while saving on shipping.
Personally, we share an Amazon account. This allows us to have access to our “Wish Lists” which is a life saver. If you’re a woman, can you please tell me if buying gifts for your spouse is easy or hard because although I know my man, he is so hard to shop for sometimes LOL.
Anyway, you must be thinking what’s the point of surprising them with a gift when they know it’s coming their way and they know what’s in it? Well, something I learned from our latest Bible study is… you could give a rose to your spouse on the same date of every month for 54 years, the thought matters more than the gift.
This tells your spouse that you’re thinking of them.
5) GIVE THEM SOMETHING TO LOOK FORWARD TO
I am sure you have a great imagination, but so does your spouse. Help your spouse paint a picture in their head when you send them a text or when you video call or talk on the phone. Get their creative juices running and get them excited. Give them something to look forward to when you get home. You’re apart, not dead. Be intimate and don’t let distance stop you from getting your spouse excited. Levi Lusko once said, “date your spouse or the devil will send someone who will”. So do that, don’t stop dating because you’re far away.
I hope these are helpful to you and your spouse. With time, you will become stronger every time you are apart. Thank you for reading this post!
Do you have any tips to beat long distance relationships? I'd love to know and I'm sure others do too!